Hilda May Bullen
née Bexley, née Smith
b. 13th May 1903, Epsom
m1. James Bexley in 1932, Epsom
m2. Ernest W Bullen in 1952, Epsom
d. 13th September, 1993May Smith, as she was known, was born in Epsom in 1903 with parents Thomas and Clara and elder brother Thomas George. They lived in a cottage in Albert Road, Epsom. Thomas was a bricklayer and Clara had been a dressmaker before she was married. Clara fell ill when May was about 6 and she was sent to live with her Aunt Molly and Uncle Bill in Yeld Hall Mews Lodge in Wargrave, Berkshire. Yeld Hall Mews was owned by Rachel Tucket and she had eleven servants, a Secretary, stables and coachman and Bill George was the gardener with his lodger Archibald Curd. Bill and Molly (whose name was actually Edith) had two sons Arthur and Bert who were 16 and 12 respectively by the time May came to live with them. May thoroughly enjoyed her time with her Aunt and Uncle who were very good to her, although it was a strict Victorian upbringing in the surroundings of country hall with many servants that prepred her well for life in service.
May left Wargrave at the age of 14 to become a children's nanny to Sir John Frederick Randall Stainer, legal adviser and chief examiner of the Passport Office, London, who was the son of the famous composer Sir John Stainer. The younger Sir John Stainer lived with his wife Ruth and five children in Ashtead. May spoke with particular fondness about Robert 'Bobby' Stainer who was killed in active service in 1943 aged 25.
In 1932, May married steam engine driver, James Bexley and moved from the live-in quarters at the Stainers in Ashtead to Albert Road, Epsom. Son James Robert was born in 1933 and David was born in 1936. The family continued to keep in touch with the Georges in Wargrave and visited cousin Bert and his wife Alice. Brother Tom Smith lived in Bookham and worked in Epsom Town Hall, so he was in regular contact. Also Aunt Tops, Clara's sister Elizabeth, who lived in Pike's Hill with her husband Ernest Short, a policeman, was another close member of the family.
May's husband, James, died in 1948 and May took her sons to spend time with one of the daughters of the Stainers, Peggy, who continued to be supportive throughout her life.
In 1952, May married Ernest Bullen, a painter and decorator in Epsom and they lived in Hook Road, Epsom. May continued to work as a children's nanny for many years, baby-sitting for local families.
After Ernest died in 1970, May moved to Stones Road, Epsom where she lived with her brother Tom for over twenty years.
Links
Sir John Stainer biography - http://members.lycos.co.uk/johnstainer/biog.html
Sir John Stainer photographs - http://www.pennantpublishing.co.uk/sirjohn.htm
Our Stainer Ancestors by Rev John Stainer - http://www.pennantpublishing.co.uk/staianc.pdf
A Personal Portrait
My grandmother was someone I was very close to and greatly admired. She was always known as ‘May’ to her family and friends and ‘Nan’ to her grandchildren.
She was a very kind and loving person, but strong minded and could be stubborn at times, much of this owing to her strict Victorian upbringing. She was a professional Nanny to the Stainer family; she married twice, first to our grandfather, James Bexley, who unfortunately died very young and then later in life to Ernie Bullen, whom she said to me she married because she felt sorry for him!
She looked after her brother Tom (Thomas George Smith, known to us all as ‘Uncle Tom’) for over 30 years, after his wife, Ella, sadly died after twenty years of marriage, and then the elderly man he shared a house with in Bookham also died. Tom lived with her for all this time and I remember them having the usual brother/sister arguments, but Tom always said to me how grateful he was to her for all she did for him. His nickname for her was ‘Pop’.
My earliest memories of her were of staying with her in her house in Hook Road, Epsom. She used to enjoy making me laugh by wearing her hairnet in bed – something that fascinated me. She was married to Ernie at that time and many happy hours were spent helping her in the kitchen, playing in their lovely garden and helping my step-grandfather with his rabbits and budgerigars in the shed at the bottom of the garden. She used to make the most delicious steamed sponge pudding with fruit in – something I can still taste today! She had no fridge, but a larder and a food safe for keeping meat in. Milk was kept in a bucket with cold water in it. She only got a fridge much later in life, when herself and Tom moved to their bungalow in Stones Road, Epsom in 1970.
When I was at infants and junior school, Nan would always come for tea every Tuesday afternoon. She would meet me from school and take me to the sweet shop to buy me a sherbet fountain – my favourite! It was her little treat.
During the summer holidays, my parents, Bob and Jean, my younger sister Janice and I, together with Nan, all used to go for trips to the seaside, countryside, gardens and National Trust properties. Nan was always on hand to keep us in order and enjoyed fussing over us girls. She would walk for miles, something that went back to her childhood, when she had a five mile walk to school and back in Berkshire.
When I was at senior school, the field around the school backed on to where Nan lived. She would always pass me drinks over the fence to myself and my friends during break time and sometimes cooked lunch for me as well.
She adored children and took great pride in her four granddaughters. Birthdays and Christmas were special occasions in our family. We always had large birthday teas with sandwiches and birthday cakes with candles on, which she loved. Christmas lunch was always special as Nan and Uncle Tom would always be with us. As we all lived in Epsom, Derby Day was important, as we were lucky enough to have the Queen pass by our house on her way home. Nan was a very staunch Royalist and loved the royal family. She was always the first person at the gate to wave to the Queen as she passed by.
When I got married, she was delighted. She told me I was the third generation to get married in March, something that made her very happy. She was extremely close to my husband’s mother “Doris” and enjoyed many happy hours at our house on Boxhill, nattering away to her non-stop. I used to visit her every Sunday for a cup of tea and a chat. She would always make cakes for us to have with our tea.
The only thing she hated were mice. She had a real phobia. The house in Hook Road had a cellar, which unfortunately had quite a lot of mice! I remember her standing on the table in Hook Road screaming away, while her brother tried to catch one that had managed to get into the house! She hated going down there and would always have me stand watch by the door in case any escaped.
She loved animals and especially all our family dogs which we had over the years. She was a cat lover as well and was known to feed neighbours cats when they appeared at her back door.
She enjoyed knitting and was always making something for us girls, other people’s children or for third world country charities, as she knitted squares to be made into blankets,
She enjoyed historical novels, especially those written by Jean Plaidy and was also an avid fan of Catherine Cookson. She loved watching comedy programmes on television and was a great fan of the Carry On films – something she regarded as a bit risqué, but permissible to us girls when we grew older.
She used to walk into Ewell regularly, even in her eighties but later in life, after a scare with a car crossing the road, she did not venture out quite as much and as she began to lose mobility, she continued her visits to the family by car. She was fit and well for all of her life and was only ill shortly before her death in her 90th year.
Allyson